Follow-up to the Mutant Bolthouse Finger Carrot Incident

Posted April 24, 2009 by digitalmetropolis
Categories: Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , , ,

Hi, everyone. So, I realize you’re all on the edge of your seat to learn what happened to my giant carrot (I threw it away) and if I reached out to Bolthouse Farms (I did). Below, find my exchange with the lovely representative from Bolthouse:

Me:

Hi, just wanted to let you know that I found a mutant carrot in my baby carrot bag today. You may not want to hear this, but it was a giant, rotten carrot. Literally rotting. I took a photo of it if you’d like to see it. Maybe you should check out your quality control a little bit?

Bolthouse:

Thank you for contacting us.  We are sorry to hear about your recent experience with our carrots.  This certainly is not the quality we strive for.  We have quality control procedures in place that should prevent something like this from happening.  In order to assist our Quality Control Department in their follow up, we will need to obtain some additional information from the packaging:

~bag size
~”best if used by” date
~product codes (located near the date)

As a valued consumer, we will be happy to send you a replacement coupon for this purchase.  We hope you will give our carrots another try.  Thank you for your continued support.  We appreciate your business.

If we may be of further assistance, please write or call our Customer Service line at 800-467-4683.

Me:

Thanks for the e-mail. As you can imagine, the giant rotting carrot was pretty alarming. I took a photo of it if you’d like to see it: http://twitpic.com/3eqst

At any rate, the bag size is the 65 g (2.25oz) size, the “Best if Used by” date is April 20, 2009, and the codes below the date are:

1808 18R
WSA211C21

Result:

I received a coupon for a free tiny carrot bag or carrot juice product about three days after I sent them a note. Not bad, Bolthouse. Not bad. But what if I find another mutant carrot in this free bag? What do I do then? Stay tuned…I’m on a mission.

What is going on with Bolthouse Farms?

Posted April 16, 2009 by digitalmetropolis
Categories: Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , ,

5726765-ffb739ba06b84ad8ee0b1b582304551549e77166-full

This is a good trick, you guys. I opened up my bag of Bolthouse Farms baby cut carrots to find half of a gigantic, rotting mutant carrot with the leafy green bits still on top.

So, my question is: were the quality assurance people asleep at the wheel here? Or, does one half of a giant, rotting mutant carrot provide more nutritional value than a dozen baby carrots do? Either way, the mutant carrot makes quite an impression.

I didn’t even know that baby carrots and giant carrots would get processed together. That’s like processing cocktail weenies with jumbo hot dogs. They aren’t even exactly the same product, so it leads me to wonder what else can get mixed into these little processing plants…? Maybe I’ll find a dead cockroach or something next time. I hope not, but the mutant carrot has opened up a lot of morbid possibilities here.

Oh, and also: these carrots taste like industrial soap 70% of the time. I guess it could be worse, right?

A Positive Rage

Posted April 7, 2009 by digitalmetropolis
Categories: Uncategorized

Tags: , , , ,

Today is a big day. The Hold Steady’s “A Positive Rage” live album and documentary comes out, and I can’t wait. I listened to the 30-second samples last night on iTunes (conjuring images of Michael Scott in The Office) and was tempted to purchase the album right at midnight. The setlist was really similar to the show I saw at the 9:30 Club last year, but since I can’t find a bootleg of the show yet, this will be the next best thing.

HOWEVER, the real gem of this package has to be the documentary. I literally am on the edge of my seat right now and can’t wait to watch it. I’ll post a review when I check out the entire package (that’s what she said).

Also, while scoping out the samples on iTunes, I noticed the Hold Steady have been featured on a ton of mediocre, big budget movie soundtracks. What’s up with that? Not sure this hurts or helps their credibility at this point, but it was unexpected.

On a side note, for those of you in the DC area, the Hold Steady will be back on June 7 at the 9:30 Club. Get your tickets now!

Head over to Amazon to check out “A Positive Rage.”

Ugh, the “No Line on the Horizon” mini review

Posted March 2, 2009 by digitalmetropolis
Categories: Uncategorized

Tags: , , , ,

This is my mini review for U2’s “No Line on the Horizon.” To sum up in five words: stop making albums and retire.

It’s perpetually boring, practically awful, and worse than the previous two albums combined (not sure that was possible). I’ll write a longer review later, but for now, know to stay away from this one. Far away.

Here’s one nugget of insight for U2 — don’t try to stretch “horizon” from three syllables to seven. Ever.

Bob Seger ticked me off in 2006

Posted February 26, 2009 by digitalmetropolis
Categories: Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
This was Bob Seger (not me) in 2006 (courtesy of Jalopnik)

This was Bob Seger (not me) in 2006 (courtesy of Jalopnik)

In the almost totally selfish interest of uploading new content to the blog without doing much work, I present a post I wrote three years ago about Bob Seger and his (then) refusal to allow users to download tracks off of his albums; instead, they would be forced to download the whole thing, which was basically Radiohead’s model on Rhapsody up until a couple of years ago. I never ended up posting it anywhere, so it is new content (sort of).

At any rate, here is my post, entitled, “Greed is greed no matter how you disguise it.” Enjoy.

To the chagrin of music executives across the country, services such as iTunes, Napster, and eMusic have changed the way that consumers value albums. Between radio airplay and the ability to purchase tracks à la carte, the consumer now is free to take what he or she likes from an album and ignore the rest of it. Artists and producers no longer can benefit from throwing a few garbage tracks in between a handful of decent ones and calling it an “album” with a straight face.

For anyone familiar with the decline of the music industry, though, this should come as no surprise.  Since the glory years during the 1990s, a decade the music industry would love to revisit because of soaring compact disc sales, consumers realized that paying $15 for an album with three decent tracks and nine inaudible ones was not money well spent. Thus, technological advances + demand for individual tracks spawned the online music industry.

Aside from the Beatles and Led Zeppelin (who have been reluctant to embrace any new technology or licensing agreements), most artists have seen the value in the new digital marketplace and have adapted to it. However, there still are some dinosaurs roaming the music landscape, and after I read this article about Bob Seger, I was reminded that artists are willing to exploit their fans if it means pocketing a few more dollars.

“Seger, the legendary rocker from Michigan who entered the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2004, is considering releasing his classic 1976 album ‘Night Moves,’ but wants to make it so it only can be downloaded as an album, Andrews said.”

The quote above was taken from this article:

http://www.cnn.com/2006/TECH/ptech/08/21/itunes.holdouts.ap/index.html

I have accepted the usual line that comes with the “album only” idea. The great artist does not want to hurt the integrity of his or her work by splitting it into single tracks.  The artist’s belief that his or her work is incomplete unless experienced from start to finish is a fine idea, if it were consistently enforced.  Artists like Seger, though, also are willing to cut the highlights from their work and paste them together for their “Greatest Hits” albums.

For instance, Seger’s landmark album Night Moves features nine songs. Two of them appear on his first greatest hits disc (“Night Moves” and “Mainstreet”) and three more show up on the second greatest hits disc (“The Fire Down Below,” “Sunspot Baby,” and “Rock & Roll Never Forgets”). So, five of the nine songs on his career-defining album already have been split into two different greatest hits albums. If he were so concerned about the integrity of his work, why issue two greatest hits discs? Well, for more money, of course. By throwing in “previously unreleased” material, he and his record company hope to sucker fans into spending more money on material of which they own the majority anyway.

Purchasing individual tracks clearly would solve this issue. The consumer could purchase the tracks he or she does not own already and move along without paying twice for much of the same music. This is, after all, one of the reasons that download services are so successful, and it is ideal for consumers who value the music they already own on other formats, such as cassette tape and vinyl.

I also have trouble taking Seger seriously when he argues for “album integrity.” This is the same man who licensed his Diet Coke rock ballad “Like a Rock” to Chevrolet for about a decade. I remember living in four different areas of the country throughout my life and hearing his song during Chevy truck commercials. His song was licensed, by itself, for a decade. However, someone who owns both an iPod and a Chevy truck could not log in to iTunes and purchase the track by itself, legally, to rock out to it with the windows down.

If artists such as Bob Dylan, Neil Young, and the Rolling Stones can embrace and benefit from using 21st Century technology to sell music, there is no reason why someone like Seger should be taken seriously for being a stick in the mud.

i am a music snob

Posted February 13, 2009 by digitalmetropolis
Categories: Uncategorized

Tags: , , , ,

A coworker called me “the biggest snob ever” because I said Taps ‘n Tapes were “garbage” (I do) and because I think My Morning Jacket is the best band ever (I don’t. They are the best of this decade). The irony here is that while calling me a music snob, the Foo Fighters was playing on my iPod. Doesn’t necessarily back up my street cred.

Of course, I could have just said I got into the Foo Fighters when it was just Dave Grohl, but that doesn’t really count as “getting in on a band early,” now does it? Nirvana who?

But honestly, can you really argue against MMJ as the best band of the 2000s so far? No, you can’t. So, don’t try.

Tapes ‘n Tapes is garbage, though. Seriously. You won’t find me at their show on the 27th.

Digital Download Review — Bon Iver, “Blood Bank”

Posted February 2, 2009 by digitalmetropolis
Categories: Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

I realize it’s been a really long time since I’ve posted, so to the tens of you who visit Digital Metropolis, my apologies. There are a ton of half-cooked posts about music, products and Fallout 3 (can’t stay away!) but given that I have a meeting in an hour I thought I’d just write a short review of Bon Iver’s new EP, “Blood Bank.” This will have to do until tomorrow, when I can talk about something a little longer and will give me some more opportunities to ramble nearly incoherently (and continue my string of not proofreading anything I write).

So, Bon Iver. Obviously you’ve heard of him, given his incredibly successful 2007/2008 release, For Emma, Forever Ago. The previous release was an exercise in simplicity. Justin Vernon reportedly locked himself in a cabin in Wisconsin and recorded everything himself. Understandably, For Emma made a splash in the indie world and was subsequently picked up and rereleased on Jagjaguwar at the beginning of 2008.

After such a debut, what would his next release bring? Well, more of his hushed, harmonized vocals, simple and sort of depressing ballads, and a compelling use of the talk box (yes, yes, Peter Frampton called…) with the backing of an actual band.

“Blood Bank,” the title track, sounds like the Bon Iver we’ve all come to love, albeit with higher production values (and an electric guitar). Pretty standard stuff but higher quality all around — sort of like the Strokes’ second album.

“Beach Baby,” brings the acoustic guitar back into the mix. This mix sounds like he put it together in the cabin, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but the vocals seems to crack and distort a bit when Justin reaches for the higher registers. The dropoff in sound quality from “Blood Bank” to “Beach Baby” is significant, but the slide guitar nearly makes up for it. Understandably, “Beach Baby” brings an island vibe to his traditional, isolated sound.

“Babys,” the third track on the EP, makes use of some staccato piano and is probably the least structured song on the EP. The distinctive harmonies are still present, but they don’t show up until about halfway through. “Babys” sounds like two songs attached at the hip but without any real direction taking you from song 1 to song 2.

“Woods,” is the standout. It’s like Bon Iver heard Kanye’s new album (cough, Gary Numan called), was annoyed with the botch job on the talk box, and decided to change up his harmonies with a little more electronic feel. “Woods” would sit next to Imogen Heap’s “Hide and Seek” but is definitely, definitley more soulful and compelling. “Woods” is a simple, fairly repetitive track, but is layered and sonically complex. Definitely the highlight.

“Blood Bank” is available on iTunes, eMusic, and presumably Amazon as well.

Technorati is funny sometimes

Posted January 12, 2009 by digitalmetropolis
Categories: Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , , ,

Technorati can be really quirky. I don’t know who is at the controls to catalog the blog posts each day(or if there is much thought to it) but here is a perfect example of why Technorati should pay more attention to what is going on:

technoraticropI’m sorry, how does this fall under “family,” exactly? Clicking on the link netted this gem below. Please note the irony of where the expletive has been obscured to protect the youth of today:

techcrop2

People typically read headlines first, Technorati. Just a thought when posting “family” content…

Things I like or love from 2008 but forgot to mention

Posted January 6, 2009 by digitalmetropolis
Categories: Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , , , ,

So, it’s been about a month since my last post. This is because I’ve been on vacation! Like most offices around DC, ours was closed through Jan 5. It served as the perfect time to think about and list four of my favorite things I forgot to mention here earlier in the year. Tina Fey as Sarah Palin is an obvious choice so it will not be included in my list, but perhaps she deserves her own post for sheer hilarity.

1.) Fallout 3 — I don’t want to say how much time was sucked from my life and inserted into my XBOX. It’s downright embarrassing. I already mentioned on here how much I was psyched about the game before it came out, but I didn’t say anything about it after it did. For the tens of you who will read this post, it was absolutely not because I didn’t like it (I did). Or even because I loved it (I did). So much, in fact, that it honestly ruled my world for an entire week. Yes. 7 full 24-hour days of post-apocalyptic DC fun (multiply the two to figure out how many hours I played the game, math nerds. i shake my head in disgust). Pathetic admission, but the game is really an experience more than entertainment (if that’s possible). You know what’s eerie? Walking down DC streets in real life while listening to the Fallout 3 soundtrack (licensed music from the 40s, not instrumental score, for the record. Big difference). It honestly is an incredible experience overall. Join the dork club and buy it.

2.) Heineken BeerTender — It took about 2/3 of a mini keg to get the pour just right (they aren’t kidding when they stress a 45 degree angle and a completely open tap…otherwise you get an undescribable amount of foam) but the beer stays fresh for several days (they say 30 but the keg didn’t last that long) and you don’t have to drink just Heineken (you get Heineken Light!). It’s a lot of fun and is a perfect addition to a small party of two or more. The lady friend picked this up for me as a gift and it was the best gift I got all year. Two enthusiastic thumbs up.

3.) Sigur Ros: Med Sud I Eyrum Vid Spilum Endalaust — No, I have no idea what the title means (or any of the lyrics) but the melodies are infectious. I technically didn’t get into this album until December 31 but it counts! Check out “Gobbledigook” and pay attention to the percussion. Perhaps the best “feel good” song I heard in 2008, which is weird to say, because I haven’t actually Googled the lyrics to find out if they are at all “feel good.” And you know what? I’m not going to. The melody is just fine for me, thank you very much. For all you eMusicers, it’s available now.

4.) ICanHasCheezBurger.com — OK, so I’ve technically been a fan for more than just one year, but it was in 2008 when I sat down and looked at every single post. I even submitted some just to see what would happen. The site is completely awesome and obviously trafficked by hilarious (and bored) people. Here are three four of my favorites. The ICHC search feature is really, really pathetic, so I can’t find the URLs for them. I also didn’t look very hard. Just know they are on ICHC somewhere and all credit goes to the site. Bookmark it pronto.

funny-pictures-two-cats-balcony-love

funny-pictures-call-center-cat

funny-pictures-cat-on-phone

128367966988125000ohaiicalled11

Top Songs of 2008

Posted December 11, 2008 by digitalmetropolis
Categories: Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,


As a quick follow-up post to the top albums, I thought I’d list my favorite 10 15 songs of the year, based on a similar set of arbitrary criteria used to determine my top albums:

1.) Total plays on my iTunes library and iPod
2.) How much I talk about the band/artist, album, or song
3.) Coldplay factor (will I live with myself if I put a big, lumbering band on my traditionally indie list?)
4.) Blindfold myself, spin around, and point to a song

Anyway, the lady friend and I had settled on the idea to do a top 10. So, I started with 30 clear choices and worked my way down to 20 and to 15. I then realized that 11-15 all fall nearly in line with 9 and 10, so then I figured I should just list my top 15. Here they are:

15.) “Abandon,” The French Kicks
14.) “Live Your Life,” T.I. (best of luck in prison, big boy)
13.) “Go Easy,” Ryan Adams and the Cardinals
12.) “The Deathbridge in Lethbridge,” The Rural Alberta Advantage
11.) “Sex on Fire,” Kings of Leon (would have made the top 10 albums if the rest of it weren’t average to below average)
10.) “Slapped Actress,” The Hold Steady
9.) “Death and All His Friends,” Coldplay (this would have been top 3 if the second half of the song weren’t kind of boring. the first half? incredible)
8.) “Run My Mouth,” Ra Ra Riot
7.) “Gossip in the Grain,” Ray LaMontagne (going in to 2008 I thought this might be my favorite album, but alas, it wasn’t close).
6.) “We Own the Sky,” M83
5.) “The Twist,” Frightened Rabbit
4.) “Furr,” Blitzen Trapper (i have the lady friend to thank for this one. she’ll say, “you’re welcome for that.”)
3.) “Crimewave,” Crystal Castles vs. Health
2.) “The Kids Don’t Stand a Chance,” Vampire Weekend
1.) “Smokin from Shootin,” My Morning Jacket (incredible. perhaps their best song)

So, there is my ultimate 2008 playlist. What’s on yours?